Defending the Practice of Plural Marriage

What a hot topic this was! And still is. Daughters in My Kingdom does an excellent job of covering some of women's thoughts in chapter 4 (scroll down to Defending the Practice of Plural Marriage, about 1/3 down the page). Meri Ann shared her struggle with understanding this practice, and how a Deseret News article finally helped her to understand. The article, titled "Recent Events Highlight Confusion of Polygamy," is a well-thought out explanation to a sometimes troubling doctrinal issue.

Valerie Hudson, a scholar and author, talked about polygamy at a conference held in Utah last fall. "In the Lord's eyes," she said, "monogamy is not a sacrifice, but a blessing. But polygamy is a sacrifice. … When God does command polygamy, he understands it is a sacrifice of the joy that would be there for his children if they could live the higher law … the Lord desires all of his children to have the natural joy that comes from living the law of marriage: monogamy."

The practice of plural marriage, or polygamy, was an exception to the rule of monogamy. Meri Ann underscored the fact that an exception, although sometimes required or necessary, does not change or become the rule.

Personal Revelation

Renee shared a comforting quote from the Personal Revelation section of chapter 4:

She (Eliza R. Snow) taught that if they would continually seek guidance and comfort from the Holy Ghost, they could enjoy peace even in the midst of adversity. She said that the Holy Ghost “satisfies and fills up every longing of the human heart, and fills up every vacuum. When I am filled with that Spirit,” she continued, “my soul is satisfied, and I can say in good earnest, that the trifling things of the day do not seem to stand in my way at all. But just let me lose my hold of that spirit and power of the Gospel, and partake of the spirit of the world, in the slightest degree, and trouble comes; there is something wrong. I am tried, and what will comfort me? You cannot impart comfort to me that will satisfy the immortal mind, but that which comes from the Fountain above. And is it not our privilege to so live that we can have this constantly flowing into our souls?”

Renee also quoted Lorenzo Snow as saying:

“This is what we desire to instill into the hearts of the sisters—to be useful in their sphere and not be discouraged because of difficulties in the way, but trust in God and look to Him, and His marvelous blessings, I will promise you, will be poured out upon you.”

Trust God, be useful in your sphere, don't be discouraged.  This advice is just as relevant today as it was then.

Accepting Personal Responsibility

The Temporal Self Reliance section tells us that we need to "Accept personal responsibility for spiritual strength, health, education, employment, finances, food, and other life-sustaining necessities." Tanya related how it was easy to take care of her responsibilities when she was in school and had to complete assignments. It was easy to take care of projects and duties at work when you have a boss giving you deadlines. But now that she is a stay-at-home mother of an adorable toddler, she finds it harder to find the motivation to get things done. She said, "I'm not enough to do these things; I'm weak. I need a push to get up and going. I can see what I ought to be, and how I fall short."

Candy advised that if we can take care of the "have-to" work by a certain time, then we have more time the rest of the day to do "wants." Michele referenced Moses 5:11:

"And Eve, his wife, heard all these things and was glad, saying: Were it not for our transgression we never should have had seed, and never should have known good and evil, and the joy of our redemption, and the eternal life which God giveth unto all the obedient."

Michele pointed out that if it were not for our mortal experience, we would not be able to have children, and we would not be able to experience joy. We are sanctified and can have joy in part because of the difficulties of having children.

So what can we do to feel more complete, more motivated? Do the best things first, and rely on the Lord for help. He knows what our needs are.

Recording Our Histories

We all love to listen to Irene.  At 85, she is the grand matriarch of our group, and is so rich in life experiences and wisdom.  As we read of our Relief Society forebearers, we were reminded that someone has to record the history so that others down the line can share the stories and the heritage.

Irene is compiling her family histories, recording stories of how the Lord's hand has been manifest her life.  She told a story of a nighttime drive through a narrow, snowy canyon.  The car started having troubles, and finally the electrical system went out.  The road was too narrow and snow-bound to be able to pull off the road, and the occasional other car on the road would have to swerve dangerously around them to get past.  The car was getting colder, and they were worried about their brother who was in delicate health.  The girls wrote HELP on the fogged windows and shined a tiny flashlight on the message when a car would approach, hoping to find a good Samaritan, but the cars kept going by.  They all prayed that the Lord would send help their way.  Finally, a truck came by and stopped.  Fortunately, they had a towing chain, and were able to pull the crippled car down to the mouth of the canyon.  The Lord does answer our prayers.

Irene challenged us to ask our family members, "What was the first time you remember feeling inspiration?"  The ensuing discussion will be a memorable one.  We need to write down our inspiring experiences as they happen so we don't forget them.

Self-Reliance

Candy, a talented seamstress, liked what was said about sewing our own clothing:

President Young advised sisters to sew clothes for themselves and their families. He said, “I call upon my sisters to … create your own fashions, and make your clothing to please yourselves independent of outside influences.” Sister Eliza R. Snow reported that he encouraged sisters to establish “fashions that would be becoming—such as would be worthy the patronage of sensible, refined and intelligent women who stand, as we in reality do, at the head of the world.”

Candy emphasized that we don't need to be so simple as to be dowdy, but that we are to be becoming and lovely.  Even if we don't now sew our own clothing, as they did then, we can still chose outfits that are nice and modest, and make us look truly beautiful.

Diane told us how the ladies then grew their own silkworms so they would have nice cloth for making their dresses.  Evidently, they even would carry around the silk cocoons under their skirts and in their corsets to keep them (the cocoons, not the ladies) warm.  There was a time that the cocoons started hatching during Sunday meetings...  Yikes!

Diane shared her worries that we aren't prepared enough for what lies ahead.  How are our sewing skills?  How is our food storage?  How is our spiritual strength?  If we do the things we ought to, and "delight in doing right," Brigham Young taught that we will be "firm and immovable like the bases of those everlasting hills."

See Luke 6:47-49 (and sing The Wise Man song) for the scripture about building your house on the rock in preparation of the storms coming.

Public Speaking

In our February meeting, we discussed Daughters in My Kingdom, chapter 4.  Lisa told us that the part she like was found on page 49:

"Some women felt reluctant and unprepared to speak in public. Sister Snow gave the following counsel to such sisters: 'Do not let your president have to say all. … Has not God endowed you with the gift of speech? … If you are endowed with the Spirit of God, no matter how simple your thoughts may be, they will be edifying to those who hear you.'"

Bookmarks

I just found two different bookmarks that people have made for the Daughters in My Kingdom book.  You might want to go to one of these sites and print one out for yourself!

The first one is found on the visiting teaching website.  Click here to go there, and then follow the directions they have on that page.  (Click on our picture below to make it bigger enough to read.)

The second one is from the My Happy Tribe blog.  (Again, click on the picture to read it.)

Click here to go to their blog.  They will direct you how to get a pdf file, which has a page of 5 bookmarks to print, cut, and use in your book.  

Happy reading!